I Know You Are, But What Am I?

This began as a write up for all you Mad Monsters about the anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie not the series) in recognition of the 31st anniversary of its release in 1992. Alas, the subject matter has evolved considering the heartbreaking news that the illustrious Paul Reubens has passed away.

“Please accept my apology for not going public with what I’ve been facing the last six years. I have always felt a huge amount of love and respect from my friends, fans and supporters. I have loved you all so much and enjoyed making art for you.”

From midnight shows at The Roxy then HBO, The Pee-wee Herman Show predates Pee-wee’s Big Adventure by about 5 years. In 1985, the childlike man, the myth and his legendary bicycle rode into theaters courtesy of Burbank goth kid Tim Burton. Picture playgrounds full of kids imitating the “Pee Wee Dance” while countless others annoyed parents, speaking in that distinctive Pee-wee voice, citing endless quotes from the movie:
“I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.”
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”
“I meant to do that.”
“Large Marge sent me.”
And perhaps most famously, “I know you are but what am I?”
This movie changed us and did so for generations after. Here was an actual grown up whos version of adulting included the most outrageous interior design skills since Willy Wonka. For years I had no idea the infamous Biker Mama was fellow Groundling and Mistress of the Dark, Elvira/Cassandra Peterson. The Cabazon Dinosaurs have always been impressive but post Pee-wee, they’re pop culture landmarks. They happily boast the slogan, “Tell ’em Large Marge sent ya!” from within the brontosaurus belly gift shop. The T-rex interior doesn’t quite match up to the sunrise tongue seat like in the movie but as a tribute to PW Herman, he’s currently sporting a gray suit, white shoes and red bowtie.

Fun Fact: Mr. T cereal was pretty freaking delicious. Especially with bacon face pancakes during what was truly the golden age of breakfast.

Speaking of sugary cereals, in 1986 Pee-wee Herman joined Saturday morning’s greatest hits. We were invited to “come on in and pull yourself up a chair!” To go wacky at a place where anything can happen! Cause golly it sure was cuckoo at Pee-wee’s Playhouse. After 5 seasons, the Pee-wee train got derailed for reasons that included professional burnout, and the Playhouse went along with it. There was an appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards then Pee-wee Herman went dark. But the Renaissance of Paul Reubens was just beginning.

Pee-wee and Simone were reunited as Tucker & Esther Cobblepot, wealthy parents of Oswald in Tim Burton’s Gotham based sequel, Batman Returns. Later that summer, Paul Reubens proceeded to steal every scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer as bloodsucker/henchman Amilyn. Upon being staked with a wooden ruler, he “singlehandedly” delivered the most exquisitely dramatic vampire death in film history. He played a flatulent superhero. He was in Blow. And a cult classic from the beginning, only Paul Reubens could provide the voice of a longtime Disney Park character and somehow manage to avoid being mainstream. 

There’s a certain kind of dreaded finality about ending this article. It means coming to terms with the fact that this is a posthumous tribute – a final fan letter, to an influence and inspiration. Our lives were more fun because Paul Reubens was in it. Like when Robin Williams died, the world is a little less colorful now that the man who was Pee-wee has left us. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure was released 38 years ago yesterday, so of course I’m watching. In this scene, a fortuneteller advises our hero to seek out his beloved bike in the basement of the Alamo. His influence is evident in the eclectic decor around my home like a full-sized clown animatronic and toys everywhere. In closing (through tears), I want to say THANK YOU! Thank you Paul, Pee-wee, Lock, Captain Rex, Derek, Amilyn and Sir Terrence Benedino.

To quote his lifelong friend, Elvira, ” I hope wherever you are, you have reunited with John (Paragon) and Phil (Hartman) and are laughing your asses off – together again.” 

With love from an 80’s kid.